The Professional Worrier

What makes folks go to the doctor? Something's not right, or there's something that makes you worry. Sometimes it's a pain signal coming from the body. Or, the knowledge of the presence of a silent disease. Or, just the worry that there might be something wrong.

What happens when we talk to the doctor? We feel better. We can relax a bit, knowing that someone more knowledgeable is on the case. Our doctor will pick up the ball and see what needs to be done. We've transferred our worry to the doctor.

In every society, there's a process by which problems and worries are mentally transferred to others. In Belize, where my family and I spent eight years, the process is most visible when there's a death in the family. With each death, one female relative becomes the designated "hysterical mourner." The rest of the family doesn't need to display tears or sorrows, especially the men. But one young to middle aged woman is expected to cry uncontrollably, faint, and make a scene. Predictably the hysterical mourner ended up being brought to my clinic so as to be given something to "calm her down."

American society tends to hire its worriers. Got a problem with someone else? Someone did you wrong? Hire a lawyer. Kids aren't making good grades? Hire a tutor.

Speaking from the other side, being a professional worrier isn't what doctors want to be. We'd rather play detective, teasing out that rare diagnosis. It doesn't really matter if that diagnosis has no cure, but we feel much better if we know what's going on. I recall a patient of mine with a constellation of strange aches and pains that I could never figure out. Listening to her was stressful. One day she started having internal bleeding. At last, relief. Something I can get to. Order a test, find her incurable esophageal cancer.

Doctors think they have two choices. They can internalize their patients' anxieties. This can last for a while, but tends to lead to burnout, which translates to the patient's perception that the doctor doesn't care. Or, they can become good actors, pretending to care but leaving their concern folded up in the patient's chart for another day.

Is there another choice for doctors when it comes to bearing other's burdens? Jesus said, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Our Savior is the only one who can really bear our patients' anxieties. I would have given up on medicine a long time ago without Him.